☕️ Alice’s Mad Tea Party: The Scandinavian Ice Queens - Norse Mythology
Mortals, do you think the frost is mere decoration? Do you think the snow softens the blows of fate? Ha. Welcome to the frozen courts of the Norse Ice Queens, where beauty can kill and mercy is optional.
First, we meet Skadi, daughter of the giant Thjazi. When her father dies at the hands of the gods, she storms the halls of Asgard armed with vengeance, skis, and a glare cold enough to freeze hearts. She bargains for justice, not out of malice, but because in the North, laws are as sharp as an axe, and promises mean life or death. Skadi later marries Njord, god of the sea, not for love at first sight, mind you, but because political marriages in mythology are rarely anything else. Mortals romanticize it. I say, survival sometimes wears a crown of snow.
Then there is Gerd, the frost-giantess turned goddess, caught between worlds. Her beauty enchants Freyr, yet her story is not a romantic comedy. It is about power, persuasion, and the cold logic of contracts. She has agency, yes, but also consequences that ripple through mortal and divine realms alike. Imagine the frost biting at your skin while you bargain for your life, and now you have a taste of her reality.
And do not forget Hel, daughter of Loki, ruler of the underworld. Half-living, half-dead, her realm is not for the faint-hearted. Mortals often skip her part or soften her visage. I will not. She guards the dead with iron will, she does not weep for souls, she does not negotiate for pity. And yet, she is not evil. She is the inevitable, the balance, the frost that comes for all.
These queens share a common thread: coldness is power. In their courts, mercy can be a trap and kindness a weakness. They remind mortals that nature is indifferent, and the gods, capricious. The frost bites for no reason other than it exists. This is not a fairy tale. This is truth wrapped in snow and ice, a Scandinavian winter carved in story.
Do not romanticize the cold. Do not soften the endings. These women wield frost and law alike, and their stories are as merciless as they are magnificent.
Alice, Queen of Ink & Lore
Pip’s Editorial Note
Alice recounts these myths faithfully. Modern retellings often smooth over the harshness of Skadi, Gerd, and Hel. Here, the icy power, political maneuvering, and moral ambiguity are preserved. Frosty beauty masks danger, and every act is consequential. No liberties taken, only theatrics added to help mortals feel the chill.
